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One of the most important things we can do toward our own healing is to practice self-acceptance. It is a key aspect in reclaiming a sense of inner calm, as well as reducing our anxiety and lessening our suffering. We suffer when we blame ourselves for what we did or did not do or, when we judge ourselves for making a mistake by attempting to “cut off” certain feelings we find uncomfortable. A popular misconception we make about being more accepting of ourselves is that it means liking everything about ourselves or believing we have to...
read more“I am larger and better than I thought. I did not think I held so much goodness” Walt Whitman For a long time now, I have been keenly interested in the relationship between psychotherapy and mindfulness meditation. The practice of mindfulness applied to therapy is about helping the client learn to see more deeply into their gifts and wholeness, as well as, the causes of their suffering. In my view, psychotherapy, and in fact the therapeutic relationship, is not so much about focusing on pathology but seeing that underneath it is a basic...
read moreThe Way It Is There’s a thread you follow. It goes among Things that change but it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies happen; people get hurt Or die; and you suffer and get old. Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding. You don’t ever let go of the thread. -William Stafford Mindfulness means non-judgmental attention to the moment to moment flow of our life. For me that’s the “thread” the poet is...
read moreStart by putting aside 10 minutes for this practice then you can do this sitting or lying down but maintain an alertness of mind. Eyes should be partially open. Then begin by connecting to your breathing. Slow down and let yourself just feel it. No need to analyze or judge. Just notice. Feel the inhalation and exhalation in the lungs. Our breath is a wonderfully effective vehicle for mindful attention. It is always in the present moment and always with us. Bring your awareness to how you are feeling physically and then emotionally inside...
read moreA young student asked his teacher, “Please write me something of great wisdom”. His teacher picked up a calligraphy brush and wrote: “Attention”. The student asked, “Is that all?” The master then wrote: “Attention, Attention”. The student looked confused and said “that still does not seem very profound”. The teacher then wrote: “Attention, Attention, Attention”. The student, looking exasperated asked “what does that mean”? The teacher replied “attention means attention”. In response to this we might ask, attention to what? And my answer would...
read moreWhy do some people get better when others don’t? What is the role of one’s attitude in healing? From my experience as a psychotherapist, it is clear that our emotional disposition plays a very important role in how we fare in the face of emotional and physical difficulties. So many clients I see in therapy have simply lost touch with their inner gifts and resources and as a result, feel helpless to make the changes they want in their lives. But our inner resources are part and parcel of who we are as human beings and are essential to a...
read moreIn all things there is a hidden wholeness – Thomas Merton The River of Life Life is always flowing, changing moment to moment as are we. Nothing stays the same, yet we have a tendency to view ourselves and situations in our life as if they were solid and we could maintain and hold on to them. We take a kind of mental snapshot of how we should feel and present ourselves in the world in the hope of being loved and accepted. It is understandable. We all want to...
read moreI remember many years ago listening to a talk by the Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hahn about mindfulness meditation as an effective method to re-connect to life in a more joyful, peaceful way. He spoke about the practice of meditating on the beauty of a single flower by encouraging us to “look deeply” at an actual flower in front of us and to see it as if for the first time. I followed this practice and quickly realized not how beautiful flowers are but how beautiful this one rose-colored tulip was, standing straight and tall right in front of me....
read moreTo continue the thread from my previous blog, the simple definition of “mindfulness” is moment by moment awareness. It is a state of mind we cultivate that has as its core curiosity and self-discovery rather than criticism and self-judgment. In the practice of mindfulness we are interested in a non-judgmental approach towards ourselves, others and our life experiences. When difficult situations arise in our life: job loss, death of someone we love, physical and emotional pain, we practice taking a more friendly approach towards the...
read moreOne day a Buddhist monk, looking very upset walked up to his teacher and asked: Teacher, I am not at peace inside, how should I deal with great distress and strong emotions? His teacher said: Welcome them. Sometimes when stressful or difficult situations arise, we may feel out of control or highly reactive. In such circumstances we don’t know what to do. In these situations we work through them by working with them. We start by acknowledging what we are actually feeling at that moment. To acknowledge it means to “greet it” without criticism...
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